Straight parents: you're too young to know what your sexuality is! It's just a phase.
Baby boy: *stares at a baby girl for no reason other than the fact that babies stare at everything*
Straight parents: oooh! Ladies man! We're gonna have to keep the girls offa you!
I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling